My guilty EastEnders’ secrets

The fact that I watch Eastenders is not the secret - I’ll happily admit that I’m a big soap fan, with a preference for the northern light relief that is Coronation Street. No, my secrets are a little more idiosyncratic. So here we go:

I have a crush on Stacey Branning/Lacey Turner.

My friends say that she is ‘my type’, this apparently being a slightly chavvy brunette - Cheryl Cole, Billie Piper (who I often have to point out, actually speaks very well now and has blonde hair for much of the time). I’m also pretty sure that Charlotte Riley – Cathy in the most recent Wuthering Heights’ adaptation - isn't a chav. There's a difference between being northern and being a chav...


Anyway, I’m not sure if Stacey/Lacey is ‘my type’ or not, or even if I have one, but she is certainly stunning to watch. Her storylines have seen her have an affair with her boyfriend’s dad, be diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, kill Archie Mitchell and watch her husband fall to his death in the live episode and she’s played them all with such passion and conviction that I’m very sad to see her leave 'The Square' (which is actually a circle).

She’s also very attractive, in an understated and unknowing kind of way. And I love her new mid-length wavy hair so much that I’m considering having mine chopped off after the wedding.


I want Dot Branning’s wardrobe.

Dot Branning is still living fifties/sixties style the first-time round, without irony or any sense of self-conscious postmodern cool.

I love her print dresses, prim cardigans, pearls, trenches and full-length fur-collared coats and she also has a great collection of proper handbags, in which to keep her ciggies and lippy of course, and practical shoppers – see this week’s plastic-handled net bag. The wardrobe department no doubt have a grand old time rooting around in the vintage shops, where all Dot’s attire is uber-cool and pricey, to dress her.


Mrs Branning’s hair has also now taken on iconic status itself – I much prefer it to actress’s June Brown’s bowl cut – just check out this glorious embroidered portrait by Angharad Jefferson. And after Coronation Street’s late Blanche Hunt, she is by far my favourite old-girl busybody.

“Weeell, you know me, [insert Eastenders’ character name], I’m not one to gawssip”.